I have never flown a plane before. But, I can tell you this, sometimes in life, all I want to do is land the plane.
Now, to be honest, I have played a few flight simulator games on the computer before. I actually do pretty well, as long as I don’t have to land.
Sure, it’s just a game, but even so, I find myself seeking to be as steady as I possibly can be. It is kind of like how steady you try to be if you have ever had an MRI or just a plain old X-Ray.
I remember a joke I heard once about how airlines, in case of a plane preparing to crash, should allow every passenger 30 seconds in the cockpit to attempt to land the plane.
If that was me, I would be pushing every button, flipping every switch, and even sticking my arms out the window in flapping motion to try to land that plane.
It’s just sometimes in life, we reach an all too familiar landscape that seems more like standing on a ledge looking into the abyss than it does like a more comfortable and easily controllable situation.
It’s like you become Bill Murray in the movie, Groundhog’s Day. No matter how hard you try, for whatever reason, you just can’t seem to get it right.
To me, it seems that the final week or two of every year is that ledge for me. Every year, I seem to reach into my back pocket and pull out the same old mistakes. Sure, they make take on different appearances, but the result always seems the same.
Maybe as I log more hours in life experiences, I can learn to land this plane after all?
Of course, in real life landing experience, I only know the view from my passenger seat and not the cockpit. It sure is a lot easier here with my chair in upright position and my seat belt fastened tightly around my waste.
Now, with my landing gear down, if I can just balance the wings and get the speed right. Of course, there is that nasty cross wind coming from the East and the low cloud coverage, too.
Steady as she goes as beads of sweat roll down my face. Simply put, I am scared to death. I only want to land the plane for once… just once.
As I am making my final approach, what scares me the most is that I know I have been here before, but each time prior… I crashed.
I feel like the plane is going so slow that it could virtually drop out of the sky. I don’t think I have been so careful in my life. I know the signs, I know the landscape, I know the right things to do. It just seems that I am completely incapable of doing them on my own. For, like two magnets drawn to each other, I know all the wrong things to do, too.
Maybe that is why I am so scared? I know what I am capable of.
Life can be like playing Russian roulette with a flight simulator. In this, you seem to get as many chances as you want to land the plane. But, in reality, in the midst of those chances, there is always that one chance… the real one.
Life isn’t a simulator. Life is… life. And life is always full of possibilities way beyond our perceived in-capabilities.
Perhaps it is time to listen to that other voice… the One coming from the air traffic control tower? It does seem that in all of my prior attempts, I opted to listen to my own voice over that of the One who knew better. And where did that get me?
For that other voice knows if the runway is ready. They know if I am ready, …even when I don’t know if I am ready. They know which direction the wind is coming. They made the wind.
In my mind, I crash. In Theirs… I land.
In my mind, I am incapable. In Theirs, I am.
It’s time I land the plane. But this time, I will. (With a little help from above.)
You know, I used to fear flying. But now that I have flown so much. I rather enjoy it.
Who knows where I’ll fly next. After I land this plane… who knows what’s next?
I guess I’ll leave that up to the Voice in the tower. They’ll know how to get me there.